On the topic of English reserve...

It seems only reasonable that, when I tackle a topic such as English Reserve, I should also offer a warning, a 'trigger alert' if you will (such is the zeitgeist in this age of identity politics). It is appropriately reserved of me to do so....

Also I wish to tread carefully, for here I am commenting simply as observation and learning, and not with criticism. This is hard to do.

Part of the joy, the reason, the purpose of living in another country is to engage with its ways of being. We will always be English, that is for sure, but we can learn to respond with a more Italian way of being, and less of an English reaction. The fun in fact is to be part of both, at the same time.

And thus is it that we have discovered one noticeable characteristic, which is a certain insistence to meet up, to get together, to have coffee. You may meet someone new at dinner, and within hardly a day you will be asked to meet up, have lunch, come shopping ... something that you would rarely see in the UK. I think WhatsApp has been an absolute dream for Italians because they can get right on to it, almost as you are still driving home.

We asked Anto' about this at the bar, and he said, yes, that is part of the general Italian love of friendship, being together, and wanting to be welcoming. What can seem quite forceful, forward even, to an English way of being, is not at all that, it is a normal way of being open. And, if you can't go and see someone, or don't want to, then just say so. He added that the further South in Italy you go, the more that it could almost be seen as rude not to go, and certainly, you have to be right on it to say that you are sorry, you can't come, and to be scrupulous about booking again.

It is hard to comment entirely on a national characteristic, however once you appreciate that this will happen, you suddenly become much more calm about it, and see it as the good thing it is, rather than what can seem overly burdensome to our more detached way of being, getting involved sometimes, but at other times being happy with our own company and space. That just isn't how it is done here. And thus you appreciate Italy more and more, and realise why you want to be here!

Did I get the balance right?

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